Capital Gains

Capital gain

I wonder if we all don’t undo ourselves by serving first impressions.

For me, I cannot gather a person at first meeting. No, I need to get to know

someone before I can form an opinion.  Once I know someone and have a grasp

as to who they are then I begin to formulate prejudices or likes.

I do not discriminate faces nor colors of skin but personalities and views that differ

from my own. Ideas that do not correlate with my belief system.

Who the hell am I?

I am me, my world is my own, we share this world but we all do

Not have a sense of balance in accord with the popular demand. Or rather any demand. Has it not occurred to anyone that should we as a populated planet spend our resources curing decease instead of war that we could most likely eradicate any and all disease and poverty? Awe, but there is no capital gain in doing good for mankind. No, the capital gain comes from war. Nation upon nation, brother against brother.

Conflict equates to demand equates to money gained. The simple formula of

“supply and demand.” Personally I think it is all disgusting.

And that’s what I think.

Lonely

I was thinking today about being lonely. 


Sometimes I could be in a crowded room and feel very alone. I wonder, would anyone relate to me, feel the way I do? And just how do I feel?
I feel alone in a world of people, pushing, rushing, talking and making gestures. I can't comprehend most of it. Shame, fame, laughter and pain. I'm alive, I get life, I have trouble getting in touch with people in general. I feel the need to reach someone, anyone.


Awkward, funny, popular, shy, witty, 98.7. 
What could it be to connect on a different level? 


Am I lonely? No, I feel the need to be needed is all that's at hand.
I suffer the human condition of longing. 


I enjoy being alive.


Tear at me searching for weaker seams.

Words

Words, food for the mind.

Comprehension, fuel for the arts.

Understanding, propulsion of evolutionary exploration.

Humor, God's gift to mankind, an elevation of sorrow.

Music, continuing expression of the human spirit in it's freest formation.

Love, the meaning of life!

Me, a messenger.

God, "not for me to say."

Back Pain

Back pain is as rejection. It comes out of no-where and lasts way too long.

 I would love to ask that certain someone out on a date. I would love for them to accept my invitation.

This is not the real world for me, I am shy, and in this arena, introverted.
Perhaps "shy" comes in the guise of a sly way of not trying? Hmm, I wonder. I wonder if I am telling even myself the truth.
Perhaps it is just easier to not try and proclaim my brilliance and that the world is not ready
for someone so wonderful as me. Or, I can face reality and know that if you don't put yourself out there,
well, then don't expect much back. Wonderful, brilliant or not.

And speaking of back, the pain persists. But at the moment its a pain I can manage and not rejection.
That is for another day, another try perhaps.

I'll Never Know

I believe everyone deserves their moment in the sun, their fifteen minutes of fame.
I believe that everyone makes a difference, when they try.
Gravity effects everyone, when have you elevated anyone with just your words?

Club Balcony rises again

So, tonight we got onto the topic of boundaries, with friends.
How much is too much? Where is the line drawn?

Should you invite a friend to a party, it's place cards, they bring a friend. What do you do?
Make the best of it or call your friend out on their mistake? Compensate your friends friend
and complain to another friend on a cold balcony with a bottle of wine, asking, "what happended?"